I'm getting old.
Mainly because I'm already at that point in my life where I admit to myself that I have been redefining myself. I don't see this as a bad thing. I just never thought it would be "a thing." I've always accepted who I am. The good and the bad of it. I know, or at least I thought I knew, my lanes, and I was content with staying in them. I'm the dude that will 9 times out of 10 order the same meal at a restaurant and not even think twice about it. But somehow, life's whisper has gotten increasingly louder, and has been telling me for the last few years to redefine myself. It didn't tell me how. It just told me it was time. I never thought a camera would be the mechanism in which it would happen.
There are many challenges to being a big black man with the culture, both past and present, that we live in. In a society where no matter what your biology tells you about you, you can redefine who you are just based on how you think of yourself, so you would think redefinition would be easy. But for some reason, it still feels like, I'll always be a big black dude in people's eyes. So photography has played a big part in helping me deal with some of these challenges. The camera is not racist. It's not even biased. It doesn't think I'm fat. It doesn't get offended at me for being me. Instead, it actually, almost audibly at times, tells me that I can do this. That not only am I redefining myself, but that I can be good at it too. Lately, I've been starting to believe it.
A little over a year ago, I decided that I would learn on my own terms how to be a shooter. Obviously, with a camera and not a gun (that was my old life). But I wanted a new journey. A new adventure. Something to distract me from the everyday challenges of life. But also, something that can serve other people. Something that brings people together. That gives them joy as well. Photography has become that something. And the process has been fun and hard. I've never doubted myself more than in the struggle of trying to have a good eye with the lens. While I definitely have a very long way to go. I can honestly say that I am least on my way there, to wherever go is.
This website is what I call my "Eyedeas." These are moments of my life, on the journey of redefining myself. I am learning. I am growing. And I have no idea where this will end up. But as hard as it is. I wouldn't change the journey of my eyedeas and what they will show me and you if you're interested. Thanks for being willing.
In the "immortal" words of Jay Z "Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is..."
